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I insist that my efforts to stifle my laughter were valiant. They were not, however, enough to appease the good Mr H.S. Archer, long-suffering husband, part-time welder and farmer extraordinaire as he and I spoke in Port Maria, St Mary.

"It not funny, man!" he snapped. I told him I agreed and that he should continue with the story.

'Arrow Man', as he is called by fellow residents, told me he was feeling burdened by the expectations placed on him by his quarrelsome wife. He seemed as if he needed to get it out, so I offered him a listening ear. As the tale unfolded, however, I found it hard to keep a straight face.

"Like when mi come home inna di night, mi want to eat mi dinner and relax likkle bit. Watch news and dem ting deh. But would she allow mi fi do dat? As mi come in she telling mi bout mi must go bathe. Yuh ever see anything like dat inna yuh life? Big, big man lakka mi," Arrow Man said. …

… “She never always so horrible, yuh know,” he said. “She go England go live fi four year and when she come back she just start ningy ningy inna mi ears every night. Mi caan badda,” he said.

There was a small bar across the road from where we were standing, and I noticed Arrow Man staring longingly at it. I asked him if he was thinking of drowning his sorrows in liquor.

"Well, mi would have a drink yes," he said. "But from the other day every time mi have a one drink this woman mek up noise. And now she tek up dis habit fi ah smell man like she ah police." …

   (via Arrow Man and his ‘ningy ningy’ wife - Lifestyle - Jamaica Gleaner - Tuesday | September 17, 2013)

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